he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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