i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
