You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
