Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
