I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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