Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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