ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
