Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
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It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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