I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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