Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
