Please, let me fuck your mom
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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