I can text with my tongue
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
