based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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