I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
