Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
