good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
