My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
