In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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