im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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