just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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