i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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