What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
