I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
