You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
