I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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