He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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