i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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