I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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