Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
