You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
