I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
there is glitter all over my balls
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
