just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
