am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
