idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
