walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
