just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize
