No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
