He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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