you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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