Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize