Non-Jews are for practice
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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