All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
