Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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