I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
