And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize