she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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