Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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