My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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