I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He better not be in your backpack
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
