worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
