My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
