I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
