don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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