JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
