After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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