There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
