If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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