I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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