you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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