If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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