Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
