we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
