The maid of honor just puked.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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