your thong is hanging out like whoa
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
