I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize