There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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