Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
