it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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