dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
