Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Who died my cat blue again?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
