Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
