How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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