every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
