Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
