ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
