Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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