we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
