8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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