He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
